Merry Kwanukkamas!
Thought in the spirit of sharing, I'd share some lyrics I wrote a few years ago. It's called Blasphemy and I'm pretty sure it's in 6/8 time for those of you who might want to try to read it 'in rhythm.'
I wrote it a while back, but it still remains one of my favorites! Hope you're all enjoying your holidays!
Peace, love and peppermints!
Hillary J.
**************************************************************************************
Blasphemy
You say you’re not sure what you believe
And things aren’t the same as they were before
And you don’t understand why I had to leave
And you don’t know who you can trust anymore
You’re in the darkness searching for light
I’m holding a candle that’s burning so bright
Will you listen this time? Will you hear what I say?
Or will you do like before and just walk away?
Come tonight – And worship at the shrine of my body
Believe that I – Can be the goddess of your soul
Kneel and pray – At the alter for your salvation
And in my embrace
Let me bless you with grace
‘till you’re whole
You say that you’ve lost your faith in love
And you’re not sure if the unseen exists
Cause you’ve never looked upon God above
And you’ve closed your eyes each time that we kissed
But I’m here in complete visibility
And I’m tangible, so please reach out and touch me
Come smell my skin – my breath you can feel
What more can I do to prove that I’m real?
Come tonight – And worship at the shrine of my body
Believe that I – Can be the goddess of your soul
Kneel and pray – At the alter for your salvation
And in my embrace
Let me bless you with grace
‘till you’re whole
It’s foolish – to think you’ll find the way on your own
Completion can never be reached by one all alone
It’s a process, it’s a journey and a whole has two parts
There is triumph, there is failure and there’s light and there’s dark
It’s not simple, it’s not easy, it can hurt, it’s not free
But it’s worth all the pain if you want it to be…
Come tonight…
Just believe…
Try as I might I cannot force your hand
It’s up to you to make your own choice
Even God won’t make you obey commands
Though you can’t deny the pow’r in his voice
You’re contemplating, weighing it out
I could cry, I could beg, I could scream, I could shout
I shiver in silence, your gaze cold as ice
Let me light you on fire with my sacrifice…
Come tonight – And worship at the shrine of my body
Believe that I – Can be the goddess of your soul
Kneel and pray – At the alter for your salvation
And in my embrace
Let me bless you with grace
And in my embrace
Let me bless you with grace
Oh in my
Embrace let
Me bless you
With grace
‘Till
You’re whole
I can heal you
(Come tonight – Just believe)
I can heal you
(Come tonight – Just believe)
I’ll make you whole
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Eating an Elephant or Home is Where the Cat is...
How do you eat an elephant?
When I arrived at my new condo, key in hand, it was empty, a little dirty and it smelled like ‘dog.’
I got the carpets cleaned and wondered how I would ever get all my stuff into this new space. It still smelled like dog.
I bought two folding chairs, paper towels, toilet paper and brought over a folding table. I called the Molly Maids. They came. They cleaned. I had no Internet. It still smelled a little like dog.
One of my friends helped me bring over a little futon-esqe sleeper sofa, some boxes and some more folding chairs. Some friends helped me unload them. I bought some Airwick air fresheners. Now it smelled like a dog wearing too much men's cologne. I spent a night there. An owl hooted outside. Every step I took inside echoed in the emptiness and I wondered, would this place ever feel like home?
My brother arrived in town early. We couldn’t get my bed into my friend’s van. So instead we took more boxes and some shelves. Now my house no longer felt like home, but neither did the condo. I was sleeping on a sofa at my house. I spent another night or two on the couch-bed at the condo.
Another friend with a bigger truck let me use it to get my bed over to the condo. I forgot to pack the frame. My brother unpacked some of the kitchen stuff so we could reuse the boxes and papers.
Another trip. More boxes, and now clothes and the bed frame. A couple friends came over and helped me put my bed together and put bedding on it. We filled the upstairs with laughter as we cracked jokes and struggled with screws and bolts.
More boxes and ‘stuff.’ My mom and grandma came to town. We went to Ikea. We found a sofa and a ‘buffet’ for the dining room. Grandma found a bed she liked.
Furniture delivered – some assembly required, my mother helped my father’s oldest son put together our brown micro-fiber couch on the area rug she bought me as a gift. I fought on the phone with the cable people who wanted to install a new DVR instead of hooking up my old one like they promised. Don’t delete my Ancient Aliens!
INTERNET! A new cage for my pudgy Mali Uromastyx that fits in the new space. My car was so small that it took two trips to get the cage and stand home from the pet store with the orange cat and the smiling associate.
I brought my cat over. She recognized the couch-bed as her own and spent half the day on it. Then she decided she liked the new sofa too and spent the rest of the day breaking it in. I met a friend at the grocery store. She came over. Grandma made us all dinner.
More shopping. Little stuff, cleaning supplies, a wreath – MORE toilet paper. I brought my lizard to his new home. He tested the fresh sand with his tongue. My cat slept in my grandma’s room.
My mother extended her stay a couple days through Christmas. She is shopping for a Kindle for my Grandma on her iPad. She stops occasionally to ask me what certain options mean. My cat sleeps against my legs, smiling. My brother is downstairs watching TV.
And I’m starting to feel like I’m at home. Home is where the cat is. Home is where the lizard is. Home is where my mom shops on Amazon and where Grandma searches for deals and funny ads on Craigslist. Home is where my brother watches Doctor Who and eats crackers on the couch. Home is where I sit in bed writing a blog.
The carcass is in the fridge now. Mostly picked over. Just a few more meals left. Some boxes yet to unpack. A couple small pieces yet to move over. Some pictures to hang. But the elephant is almost devoured – the only way anything is ever devoured – one bite at a time…
When I arrived at my new condo, key in hand, it was empty, a little dirty and it smelled like ‘dog.’
I got the carpets cleaned and wondered how I would ever get all my stuff into this new space. It still smelled like dog.
I bought two folding chairs, paper towels, toilet paper and brought over a folding table. I called the Molly Maids. They came. They cleaned. I had no Internet. It still smelled a little like dog.
One of my friends helped me bring over a little futon-esqe sleeper sofa, some boxes and some more folding chairs. Some friends helped me unload them. I bought some Airwick air fresheners. Now it smelled like a dog wearing too much men's cologne. I spent a night there. An owl hooted outside. Every step I took inside echoed in the emptiness and I wondered, would this place ever feel like home?
My brother arrived in town early. We couldn’t get my bed into my friend’s van. So instead we took more boxes and some shelves. Now my house no longer felt like home, but neither did the condo. I was sleeping on a sofa at my house. I spent another night or two on the couch-bed at the condo.
Another friend with a bigger truck let me use it to get my bed over to the condo. I forgot to pack the frame. My brother unpacked some of the kitchen stuff so we could reuse the boxes and papers.
Another trip. More boxes, and now clothes and the bed frame. A couple friends came over and helped me put my bed together and put bedding on it. We filled the upstairs with laughter as we cracked jokes and struggled with screws and bolts.
More boxes and ‘stuff.’ My mom and grandma came to town. We went to Ikea. We found a sofa and a ‘buffet’ for the dining room. Grandma found a bed she liked.
Furniture delivered – some assembly required, my mother helped my father’s oldest son put together our brown micro-fiber couch on the area rug she bought me as a gift. I fought on the phone with the cable people who wanted to install a new DVR instead of hooking up my old one like they promised. Don’t delete my Ancient Aliens!
INTERNET! A new cage for my pudgy Mali Uromastyx that fits in the new space. My car was so small that it took two trips to get the cage and stand home from the pet store with the orange cat and the smiling associate.
I brought my cat over. She recognized the couch-bed as her own and spent half the day on it. Then she decided she liked the new sofa too and spent the rest of the day breaking it in. I met a friend at the grocery store. She came over. Grandma made us all dinner.
More shopping. Little stuff, cleaning supplies, a wreath – MORE toilet paper. I brought my lizard to his new home. He tested the fresh sand with his tongue. My cat slept in my grandma’s room.
My mother extended her stay a couple days through Christmas. She is shopping for a Kindle for my Grandma on her iPad. She stops occasionally to ask me what certain options mean. My cat sleeps against my legs, smiling. My brother is downstairs watching TV.
And I’m starting to feel like I’m at home. Home is where the cat is. Home is where the lizard is. Home is where my mom shops on Amazon and where Grandma searches for deals and funny ads on Craigslist. Home is where my brother watches Doctor Who and eats crackers on the couch. Home is where I sit in bed writing a blog.
The carcass is in the fridge now. Mostly picked over. Just a few more meals left. Some boxes yet to unpack. A couple small pieces yet to move over. Some pictures to hang. But the elephant is almost devoured – the only way anything is ever devoured – one bite at a time…
Friday, December 7, 2012
Just for the Sake of Blogging...
Hello Dahhhhlings -
I really, truly, honestly, sincerely can’t believe this year is almost over.
However, if the Mayans were right and it’s all ‘sh*tsville’ for us in 14 days, well, then at least I’ll be able to say I went down in a blaze of glory!
I’ve spent this last year back in school working towards an actual Bachelor’s degree, but that’s not all. I've been down to Miami a couple times, met some AMAZING new friends, and worked on some really cool projects. And just yesterday, I found out I’m in consideration for an internship at the Cannes Film Festival 2013 (suck Mayans – I deserve this!!!)
I also found out last week that I earned a coveted Course Director’s Award for my class last term! Sorry to brag so much, but it’s just been a cool month.
Don’t worry – there are still plenty of little life circumstances handing my a$$ to me on a daily basis to keep me humble - like my friend accidentally tracking dogSh*t into my house while helping me move! For the moment, however, I just really want to bask in these few recent rays of sunshine.
Also – I just wanted to share my latest fun project. It’s called IndieMinute. It’s pretty much all there in the name. It consists of 60 seconds of me doing a silly synopsis for an independent film.
You’ve already spent longer reading about it than you’ll spend watching the actual clip – so why not check it out?
Have I told you all lately that I <3 you? (I used to think that symbol was a mouse and it always confused me why someone would ‘mouse’ anyone…)
Peace peeps! Wish me luck on my phone interview next week (for the internship!)
Lurve ya –
Hillary J.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)