Thursday, December 20, 2012

Eating an Elephant or Home is Where the Cat is...

How do you eat an elephant?

When I arrived at my new condo, key in hand, it was empty, a little dirty and it smelled like ‘dog.’

I got the carpets cleaned and wondered how I would ever get all my stuff into this new space. It still smelled like dog.

I bought two folding chairs, paper towels, toilet paper and brought over a folding table. I called the Molly Maids. They came. They cleaned. I had no Internet. It still smelled a little like dog.

One of my friends helped me bring over a little futon-esqe sleeper sofa, some boxes and some more folding chairs. Some friends helped me unload them. I bought some Airwick air fresheners. Now it smelled like a dog wearing too much men's cologne. I spent a night there. An owl hooted outside. Every step I took inside echoed in the emptiness and I wondered, would this place ever feel like home?

My brother arrived in town early. We couldn’t get my bed into my friend’s van. So instead we took more boxes and some shelves. Now my house no longer felt like home, but neither did the condo. I was sleeping on a sofa at my house. I spent another night or two on the couch-bed at the condo.

Another friend with a bigger truck let me use it to get my bed over to the condo. I forgot to pack the frame. My brother unpacked some of the kitchen stuff so we could reuse the boxes and papers.

Another trip. More boxes, and now clothes and the bed frame. A couple friends came over and helped me put my bed together and put bedding on it. We filled the upstairs with laughter as we cracked jokes and struggled with screws and bolts.

More boxes and ‘stuff.’ My mom and grandma came to town. We went to Ikea. We found a sofa and a ‘buffet’ for the dining room. Grandma found a bed she liked.

Furniture delivered – some assembly required, my mother helped my father’s oldest son put together our brown micro-fiber couch on the area rug she bought me as a gift. I fought on the phone with the cable people who wanted to install a new DVR instead of hooking up my old one like they promised. Don’t delete my Ancient Aliens!

INTERNET! A new cage for my pudgy Mali Uromastyx that fits in the new space. My car was so small that it took two trips to get the cage and stand home from the pet store with the orange cat and the smiling associate.

I brought my cat over. She recognized the couch-bed as her own and spent half the day on it. Then she decided she liked the new sofa too and spent the rest of the day breaking it in. I met a friend at the grocery store. She came over. Grandma made us all dinner.

More shopping. Little stuff, cleaning supplies, a wreath – MORE toilet paper. I brought my lizard to his new home. He tested the fresh sand with his tongue. My cat slept in my grandma’s room.

My mother extended her stay a couple days through Christmas. She is shopping for a Kindle for my Grandma on her iPad. She stops occasionally to ask me what certain options mean. My cat sleeps against my legs, smiling. My brother is downstairs watching TV.

And I’m starting to feel like I’m at home. Home is where the cat is. Home is where the lizard is. Home is where my mom shops on Amazon and where Grandma searches for deals and funny ads on Craigslist. Home is where my brother watches Doctor Who and eats crackers on the couch. Home is where I sit in bed writing a blog.

The carcass is in the fridge now. Mostly picked over. Just a few more meals left. Some boxes yet to unpack. A couple small pieces yet to move over. Some pictures to hang. But the elephant is almost devoured – the only way anything is ever devoured – one bite at a time…

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