The Abundance Trap -or- Don't Forget your Attitude of Gratitude!

 It begins with the best intentions.

You read inspirational quotes.  You clarify a goal in your mind.  You radiate optimism, and your life begins to fill with all the things you were seeking.

Who ISN'T inspired by an eagle? http://aboveaverage.me/best-motivational-posters/

But then…

You fine tune your goals and up the ante.  You panic when the new goal isn’t met immediately.  Your mindset slips quietly from optimism to desperation.  You question your abilities to make things happen.  You start grabbing at leads that have nothing to do with your end goals fearfully hoping that you can change the course of the opportunity instead of staying on your own course to begin with…

And then you wake up weeks, months – maybe years later – and wonder how it all went wrong.

IT didn’t go wrong.  You went wrong.  Or in this case – I went wrong.

I stopped doing the things that were leading me to success.  I grasped at straws and systematically created my own misery and wallowed in my fear and guilt.

And today – I’m trying to check myself before I wreck myself yet again.

I’ve been in NYC less than two months.  In fact, today marks exactly eight weeks.

The first two weeks I spent unpacking, getting settled and reaching out to some of my friends who were already here.  I started meeting up with my contacts, looking for work opportunities, and writing a new web series.

Then I got really sick for two weeks…

My fifth week I registered with a high-volume casting agency, and for the last three consecutive weeks I’ve managed to book three days a week on various film and TV projects as non-union talent.

So last week, I decided that my next step was to become union, and – perish the thought – no one came up to me in the last five days waving a SAG card in my face.

So yesterday – believe it or not – I actually started to panic.  Sure – I’d worked as recently as Thursday night into Friday morning.  But yesterday (Saturday) I just started to lose my sh*t because I hadn’t booked anything for the coming week yet.  And I didn’t have a SAG card yet.  And I’m still not a household name even though I’ve been working for THREE WHOLE WEEKS in NYC…

What HAVE I done?

Booked nine days on shows, seen a Tony-winning Broadwaymusical, attended the final dress of the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, shared an elevator with the entire line up of @Midnight comics at a live taping, seen some great live comedy, rocked my first NYC open mic, reconnected with some super talented friends, made some really promising new contacts, written the first two webisodes of my new series, posted a couple blogs, attended a few writer’s group meetings, started singing with a new choir…

So what’s my malfunction???

Today – I’m taking a big breath and smiling.  Today I’m rejoicing at how amazing the last eight weeks have been.  Today, I REFUSE to panic.  Today I KNOW that I’ll get my new headshots, I’ll book more work and I’ll get my SAG card – if not this week, then next. 

Today I accept that I AM doing everything I need to be doing.  I accept that the abundance, which I am already experiencing, is still flowing freely in my direction.

 Thankful for the little things! https://emedcert.com/blog/house-quotes-motivational-posters

I’m still reaching for my goals. But TODAY I am so GRATEFUL to the wonderful people in my life who are helping me each step of the way.

And what I’m doing is more than enough.

I’ll book more work this week.  The paychecks will keep coming.  The SAG card will get here.  The comedy bookings will come.  And the truth is, for someone like me, there will always be a new goal – a new project, a new set of accomplishments to reach for.  I know that about me, and I’m glad that even after all this time I’m still trying to get better.  It keeps life interesting.  But if you don’t take time to appreciate what you’ve done, how far you’ve come and all the people and things that helped you get there, the only person you’re cheating is yourself – and I refuse to do that!

Thank you for your support!

Baby Got Your Back!

Ask yourself - Are you a bikini/lingerie model on a shoot? No? Suck it in!

Skinny Girls – please STOP sticking your asses out…

Look – no one is happier than me that “junk in the trunk” is a good thing now.  I suffered through high school in a time and place when Baby Got Back was a punch line making me the literal BUTT of most jokes. 

Shopping when you’re bootylicious?  Not much fun.  Skinny jeans will never be my friend, and Lycra spandex is a necessary fabric ingredient in anything that I plan on wearing below the waist. 

Here’s the kicker.  I grew up taking ballet lessons.  My keister juts out in spite of years of training to “pull up and tuck under.”  I have to engage my abs just fit between the closing doors on the subway. 

So imagine my confusion when I see all these perfectly lovely slender young women walking around in tight dresses sticking their butts and guts out on purpose! 

A) It’s bad for your back!  How can you tolerate walking around like that? It makes my sacrum ache just to look at you… and

B) It looks freakin’ ridiculous.  Sure, if I’m approaching you from your posterior, there is an illusion of booty.  But when I see your silhouette and realize your non-existent tummy is also bulging out the front, all I can do is shake my head.  Do you have ANY idea how hard girls like me work to flatten our abs in hopes to one-day fit into pencil skirts and tight dresses?  Any concept of how many crunches, flutter kicks and full-range sit ups I do daily to get at least one part of me to keep from bulging out of my clothes?  And you go and mock me by sticking out your tummy in order to pretend to have a bubble ass like mine?  It’s just not worth it.  I PROMISE you!

Stop! No! And Don't! Shame on this Photographer for making this gut appear!

In another five to ten years you’ll be sitting in a chiropractor’s office in tears because your hips are sore, your back always hurts and you’re adding pounds of weight every month because you can’t exercise anymore because your lower vertebrae are so screwed up.  And back issues cascade. By the time you seek medical help, it won’t be just your lower back.  It will be your shoulders, neck, hips, knees…

And what for?  To perpetuate a male fetish that comes and goes with the next Top-40 single?  To attract men on the street so you can yell at them when they catcall you?  To please a potential boyfriend who thinks ass-cheeks are more important than your cheeky personality?

Please – stand up straight!  Take some pride in the body your DNA crafted.  Enjoy wearing clothes that I’ll never be able to get one half of my tush into.  Yeah – we’re a shallow society and looks matter.  But luckily, everyone has different tastes.  And trying to look different just because it’s popular is NOT worth the pain down the road.  Suck in that gut and flaunt that skinny bod.  I would if I were you! ;)

The First Commandment of Background Work - STFU!!!

You’ve seen the ads:

Have fun and get paid!  Network TV shows and feature films need ALL TYPES as working Extras.  Call this number to get started. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!

You call the number.  You fill out some papers.  Someone takes your photo and… VOILA!

A couple weeks later you are indeed on a set somewhere as a Non-Union extra for a film or TV show starring actors you may or may not have heard of yet.  In return for sacrificing at least 12 hours of you life, you will be paid a flat day rate of somewhere between $80 and $100 dollars, you’ll be fed “Lunch” (which typically is more glamorous than it sounds) and maybe – just maybe – when the project is released, you’ll be able to catch a quick glimpse of your backside or an earlobe that you can point to and tell your friends, “Hey!  That was me just then!”

See the guy across the street in the orange coat? Probably an Extra! (Photo Source)

But I’m here to tell you, that the No Experience Necessary part is a calculated risk taken by Casting Agencies.  There is a need to keep rotating through background actors on a regular basis on TV shows and films.  If you keep showing the same 20 people in the background over and over, regular viewers are going to figure out that the police in last week’s episode are now bartenders this week.  So to mix things up, Agencies sign dozens of new faces each week to keep their projects happy.  And Casting Directors for the shows themselves frequently put out calls specifically for talent that “haven’t worked this season.”

Calls like these open the door to new and hungry background performers, giving inexperienced people a chance to work on a professional crew for the first time.  The problem is, just a few inexperienced extras can considerably slow down the pace of a workday on set – a day that is already designed to be twelve hours long!

So, in light of some recent experiences in the Big Bad Apple, I’m taking some time out of my life to write some tips to new Extras – or people considering working as extras – because yes – it IS work.  And if you’re a PA, AD or Casting Director and you’d like your Background Actors to read this next mini series of posts – go right ahead and share.  Just remember where you read it first ;)

The First Commandment of Background Work – Shut the BLEEP Up!!!

Dear Background Actor,

You do not have a line of dialogue in this episode.  If you did have a line of dialogue, you would have your own private dressing/holding area.  You would go through ‘the works’ and get full hair/make-up and wardrobe, and a PA (Production Assistant) would be at your beck and call fetching you water and snacks.  You’d also have a full contract for your day’s work, and become Union Eligible. 

However – you are a BACKGROUND Actor.  Your job is to be silent while people with lines of dialogue deliver them into highly sensitive microphones during takes.

Admittedly, it’s not always easy to be silent.  Sometimes you’re given specific business (or blocking) to do that involves walking to and from marks across set, interacting with other actors in the scene, delivering food or drinks etc.

Frequently you will be told by the 2^nd AD (Second Assistant Director) or even the 1^st AD (First Assistant Director) to show a lot of energy during the take.  You’ll then be expected to match that level of energy again and again and again as adjustments are made to the lighting, lenses are changed on the camera, and actors are asked to make subtle changes to their performances. 

There will be many takes of the same scene.  You’ll be doing the same thing over and over.  And you’ll be asked to do it in COMPLETE SILENCE with high energy multiple times.

I know what you’re thinking. 

“I’m an Actor, not a Ninja!  How am I supposed to walk with lots of energy, fake a conversation with two other people, toast drinks and not make a sound?!?”

Start working on those ninja skills.  They are very important.  Sometimes you’ll make some accidental noise.  It happens.  You are cautioned by the ADs and the whole scene resets.

But please – for the love of all that that’s holy – DO NOT TALK OR WHISPER DURING TAKES!!!

No matter how quiet you think you’re being – those mics pick up everything.  EVERYTHING!!!  

With or without the Dead Cat - Audio hears it all! (Photo Source)

Sometimes the audio department asks to hold the roll because they can hear the hum of a plane that is still miles away.  The rest of us on set can’t hear it yet, but Audio knows that it will ruin the take, so they wait for it to pass.

So yes – if you’re bitching about the blister on the bottom of your foot – the guy holding what looks like a huge fishing pole with a furry chinchilla on the end of it (actually called the Boom Mic) can hear Every. Single. Word.

You will notice that after the action stops and the Director or 1^st AD yells, “Cut,” the work resumes, and suddenly there is a flurry of movement and talking.  This does not mean, however, that you need to talk. 

Chatter immediately after a take is very important to the crew.  Maybe a light needs to move.  Maybe the script supervisor realized the actress is wearing the wrong shoes for this scene.  Maybe the camera assistant needs to check focus marks.  Whatever it is – the crew chatter is VITAL to the success of the shoot. 

Giggling about pantomiming a conversation is not vital.  If your ‘scene partner’ tries to chat with you, it’s okay to smile politely and indicate that you’re being quiet while the work happens.

This can be very frustrating for first-time Extras – or even Extras who have worked before but weren’t properly schooled about the process.

When told to reset for another take, “same as the last one,” I’ve heard so many Extras grumble, “Man, why can’t the actors get it right?  They should give me the line.  I won’t f%ck it up!”

Don’t say that. 

First of all – it might have nothing to do with the actors.  There are lots of moving parts to some takes.  The shoot I was on last week had scenes involving lighting cues in the middle of takes that also used multiple camera angles where at least one of the cameras was moving and so were the actors.  There was probably a boom mic in the equation as well.  That means – for that take to be good for both cameras – the lighting department had to hear the cue and change the lights at just the right moment, the cameras had to adjust focus for each step the actor took and the actor had to hit the exact right mark all at the same time, while the boom mic picked up the sound, followed the action and DIDN’T create any shadow on the actor or the camera lens.  Now are you getting an idea of “what’s taking so long?”

With all those variables – now toss in up to fifty Background Actors who think the mic can’t hear them when they whisper or giggle – fifty human beings who are choreographed to move soundlessly behind the main action as if they had no idea that two cameras were in the room at all.

One clinked glass, rogue giggle, late cross or accidental look into the camera can destroy that entire take.  And we’re all going “back to one” aka the mark we started from.

Sometimes you’ll slip.  You’ll let the monotony get the better of you and in very low tones you talk softly to a scene partner between takes.  If you’re very quiet, you’ll probably ‘get away with it’ without a reprimand from the ADs.  BUT – the minute you hear the magic word, “ROLLING,” you must – MUST – become completely quiet.  They don’t yell, “Rolling” on set just to shut the Extras up.  That’s the word designed to tell EVERYONE – the crew, the producers and yes even the cast – to Shut the F*** Up!  If you need to be told to be quiet AFTER the crew calls “Rolling,” you have done something very, very wrong.  And you could be ejected from set.

You don’t want that.  Trust me.  Even though you may feel a little anonymous as just a face in the crowd – you’re documented.  You have a paper trail – or else you couldn’t get paid.  If you get kicked off a set for unprofessional behavior, you truly may never work again. 

I know how basic this all sounds – but believe me, if everyone on set did this, I wouldn’t be writing this post.

I’ll be writing more Background Commandments in the next few days.  I welcome comments, questions and shares.  The more people who take this to heart – the less pain and suffering the rest of us will have to endure on set and the faster we’ll all hear those magic words… “That’s a wrap!”