The Abundance Trap -or- Don't Forget your Attitude of Gratitude!

 It begins with the best intentions.

You read inspirational quotes.  You clarify a goal in your mind.  You radiate optimism, and your life begins to fill with all the things you were seeking.

Who ISN'T inspired by an eagle? http://aboveaverage.me/best-motivational-posters/

But then…

You fine tune your goals and up the ante.  You panic when the new goal isn’t met immediately.  Your mindset slips quietly from optimism to desperation.  You question your abilities to make things happen.  You start grabbing at leads that have nothing to do with your end goals fearfully hoping that you can change the course of the opportunity instead of staying on your own course to begin with…

And then you wake up weeks, months – maybe years later – and wonder how it all went wrong.

IT didn’t go wrong.  You went wrong.  Or in this case – I went wrong.

I stopped doing the things that were leading me to success.  I grasped at straws and systematically created my own misery and wallowed in my fear and guilt.

And today – I’m trying to check myself before I wreck myself yet again.

I’ve been in NYC less than two months.  In fact, today marks exactly eight weeks.

The first two weeks I spent unpacking, getting settled and reaching out to some of my friends who were already here.  I started meeting up with my contacts, looking for work opportunities, and writing a new web series.

Then I got really sick for two weeks…

My fifth week I registered with a high-volume casting agency, and for the last three consecutive weeks I’ve managed to book three days a week on various film and TV projects as non-union talent.

So last week, I decided that my next step was to become union, and – perish the thought – no one came up to me in the last five days waving a SAG card in my face.

So yesterday – believe it or not – I actually started to panic.  Sure – I’d worked as recently as Thursday night into Friday morning.  But yesterday (Saturday) I just started to lose my sh*t because I hadn’t booked anything for the coming week yet.  And I didn’t have a SAG card yet.  And I’m still not a household name even though I’ve been working for THREE WHOLE WEEKS in NYC…

What HAVE I done?

Booked nine days on shows, seen a Tony-winning Broadwaymusical, attended the final dress of the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, shared an elevator with the entire line up of @Midnight comics at a live taping, seen some great live comedy, rocked my first NYC open mic, reconnected with some super talented friends, made some really promising new contacts, written the first two webisodes of my new series, posted a couple blogs, attended a few writer’s group meetings, started singing with a new choir…

So what’s my malfunction???

Today – I’m taking a big breath and smiling.  Today I’m rejoicing at how amazing the last eight weeks have been.  Today, I REFUSE to panic.  Today I KNOW that I’ll get my new headshots, I’ll book more work and I’ll get my SAG card – if not this week, then next. 

Today I accept that I AM doing everything I need to be doing.  I accept that the abundance, which I am already experiencing, is still flowing freely in my direction.

 Thankful for the little things! https://emedcert.com/blog/house-quotes-motivational-posters

I’m still reaching for my goals. But TODAY I am so GRATEFUL to the wonderful people in my life who are helping me each step of the way.

And what I’m doing is more than enough.

I’ll book more work this week.  The paychecks will keep coming.  The SAG card will get here.  The comedy bookings will come.  And the truth is, for someone like me, there will always be a new goal – a new project, a new set of accomplishments to reach for.  I know that about me, and I’m glad that even after all this time I’m still trying to get better.  It keeps life interesting.  But if you don’t take time to appreciate what you’ve done, how far you’ve come and all the people and things that helped you get there, the only person you’re cheating is yourself – and I refuse to do that!

Thank you for your support!