Graduation!!!

Over the last two years, I've been on this crazed, hectic journey to keep up with my regular life all while earning a BFA in Creative Writing for Entertainment at Full Sail University.  It's a very new program and one of only three BFA degrees in the country that focuses on writing for entertainment.

Yesterday at 8:30am, I graduated with four classmates who comprise the first ever on-campus section of the class. (Two online classes graduated before us - whatever...)  As the recipient of the Advanced Achiever Award, I was selected to give the graduation speech for my class.

The opening kind of terrified a few of the faculty members - but over all, it went pretty well...

Wow!  I’d like to thank the Academy, my manager and all my home-girls still shaking what their mammas gave them at the Skyway lounge…  Oops!

*Diablo Cody’s Oscar speech from Juno?  What am I doing with that?

 

Oscar on the horizon? You never know! And I've never been above a little 'foreshadowing!'
*Not REALLY the opening to Diablo Cody's Oscar speech!

  

 

…But in case any of you are concerned – don’t worry.  I could never be the ‘next Diablo Cody’ because I could never make a living in adult Entertainment for one very important reason – as my mother, classmates and ALL my teachers can now attest, I have absolutely no idea how to behave like an adult…

Case in point - Right now someone off stage is checking her notes and saying – uh oh… this is NOT the speech Hillary J. Walker submitted Sunday afternoon.

And she is right.

This isn’t the speech.  I wrote a speech - a solid speech. It was kind of cute in the beginning, gave some shout outs to my classmates, and took an inspirational turn into the home stretch where I thanked everyone responsible for my success.  Ta –Da!

But I realized after I turned it in, that I didn’t want to ‘deliver a speech,’ because I’ve spent the last two years of my life at this school learning to be a storyteller.  So the only fair thing for me to do is to tell you a story.

It’s about a deeply flawed protagonist who came here 10 years ago and really really wanted to make movies on the big screen. But after going on the tour, and even reserving a seat in the film production AS program, she just couldn’t figure out how to make it work. And she knew being a set PA wasn’t REALLY her dream.

So she enlisted in the Army National Guard and became a broadcast journalist. Also – not really her dream.

Then one Christmas, just two weeks after her stupid ex-husband drove away in a glistening yellow pick up truck, her ‘not quite dream’ turned into an actual nightmare when she found out she had cancer in her left big toe.

It’s amazing what a big pain in the butt toe-cancer can be.  In fact it almost killed our hero, but she decided she wanted to stick around – not to stick it to her idiot ex (who totally deserved it), or to even find new love and live happily ever after. She fought to live because there were so many stories living inside her head that she still wanted to tell.  There were so many words she’d never write and worlds she’d never create if she just gave up over one freakishly tenacious toe tumor…

In case any of you are wondering, this isn’t some script I’ve been working on for class.  This is my story.

And eventually, as John Cleese so elegantly said in Monty Python’s Holy Grail – "I got bettah…"

But I didn’t know how to get great – Until two years ago when I came back to tour Full Sail with an old friend who was chasing a new dream of her own. And I found out about the shiny new Creative Writing for Entertainment BFA.

That Sunday afternoon, I saw Garry Jones standing right here on this stage daring me to follow my dream – The very dream that kept me alive during the darkest point in my life.

And that moment I knew that someday I wanted to stand on this stage and dare others to follow their dreams too.

I’m not great yet.  But I made it to this stage.  And thanks to family members who’ve shown me more support than I deserve – thanks to teachers who boldly went where no curriculum has ever gone before – thanks to Program Director Noelani Cornell who has discovered that teaching writers entails more ‘cat-herding’ than a Siegfried and Roy show – and of course, thanks to Garry Jones, who dares each one of us to become the stars he believes we all can be – thanks to each of those people – I know how to get ‘great.’

Allison, Brittney, Micah and yes – even especially Garrett, you know how to get there too.  And I promise to help you each remember that, if you promise to remind me from time to time.

Thank you all for being here today to celebrate with me and the rest of Full Sail’s first ever Campus class to graduate from the Creative Writing for Entertainment BFA program.

Congratulations to all my fellow December 2013 grads! Guys - we totally got this!

Dirty Words...

Revision and Editing.

They used to be vulgar words that violated all I held holy.

In high school I considered myself a One-Draft-Wonder.  And compared to most of my classmates, I was.

Yeah – this sounds cocky, but honestly, it all comes down to process.  Some of us just use different methods of getting from A to B.  If I know a cross-town route that has fewer traffic lights, I’ll take it – even if it’s not quite as direct as your route.  I’ll probably get to my destination in the same amount of time as you.  I had to drive a little further, but I didn’t have to stop as many times along the way.

Can you say, "YUCK?" For me - the fewer of these, the better!

In writing, it’s the same.  I’m a ‘revise as I go’ kind of girl.  I’m also an ‘over-writer.’  When it’s time for me to clean up a first draft, it doesn’t typically require a massive overhaul.  It’s about punching up an image, cleaning up superfluous language and making sure I have the right its, theirs and twos. 

My road from ‘envisioning’ to complete ‘first draft’ is one in which I’m constantly smoothing transitions, rereading what I’ve written and solving problems as I go instead of glossing over them.

I realize not everyone has the patience to write this way.  However, it was the process I developed at a very early age, and it’s served me well. (Except for my 9^th grade English class, which I almost failed because our teacher graded us on ‘process’.)

So the other night, when my BFA Revisions and Editing teacher innocently asked if any of us had experienced writing an initial draft that lived up to our original intent, I raised my hand.  And today, after a couple of hours combing through work trying to find a scene that could use ‘considerable revision,’ I’m writing a blog instead of doing my homework.  Are there things that I could improve upon?  Of course!  But are they fully dysfunctional dead-end scenes with no purpose or clear outcome in dire need of painstaking revision?  Not really.

They are bits and pieces that could be decluttered, trimmed or polished. Atoms within cells. Branches within forests. Planet within galaxies – you get the picture.

I understand the value of the exercise.  I just hope she understands the amount of work it took to get it so close to right the first time…

MORE #SocialNetworking Commandments

You may be reading these online fan base building tips going, "Okay - if you're such an expert how come you don't even have 1,000 Twitter Followers yet?"  

Fair question.  

My biggest struggle is obeying my own Commandments - especially number Four.  Oh number Four... you always get me into trouble...

 THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

Thou Shalt Be Consistent – especially at the beginning.

I follow a number of named celebrities on Twitter who go sometimes weeks, sometimes months without posting a dang thing.  That’s okay.  I’m going to keep following them because I’m interested in what they post when they post again.  You do not have that luxury. Be sure to post a few times a day. A few equals 3 – 5.  Too many and people will delete you for taking up their whole feed.  Too few and they’ll ‘clean’ their contacts and figure since you don’t tweet anymore, they might as well ‘unfollow’ you.  Sure – there are exceptions.  Tonight I must have posted about 8 posts or so in a one hour span coming up with new #OtherStarTrekFilms.  (The most successful was A SpockWork Orange…)  For an hour, I was part of a community of people I didn’t even know, but I was doing something that reinforced my brand and gained several Retweets and about 6 new followers in one hour.  If I hadn’t checked my Twitter tonight, I would have missed that fun game and the opportunity to connect with fellow Trek geeks!  Good thing I was consistent!

I dare you to tell me this mash-up isn't "Highly Logical!"

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

Thou Shalt Do Unto Others…

People follow you?  Follow them back – or at least mention them and thank them for Following.  People comment on a Facebook post?  Like it.  See a blog link from one of your followers? Read it/comment/share - repeat! Why would anyone put out content and ask others to participate without doing the same for them? It shows reciprocal appreciation to those who interact with your posts.  I mean, God has been credited with answering the occasional prayer, and even Ron Howard ReTweets fans – so what makes you too good to respond to the feedback your audience is giving?  Got a friend asking you to join a Band page, Modeling Page or Movie page?  Do it!  Then when you invite them to join your page/read your blog/share your video they’ll be more likely to show you the same support you just showed them.

#SocialNetworking... Commandments #2 and #3!

For those of you that missed the first blog, I'm offering a few helpful hints to my Actor/Writer friends who operate under the false assumption that Twitter, Facebook and similar sites are just for staying in touch with people they already know. 

Social networking plays into publication, distribution and even casting!  When I've suggested various niche actors for projects, producers and directors have asked me how big their Twitter Following is.  If you're the one directing an actor, that's something you might want to check out too!  On to the tips...

THE SECOND COMMANDMENT

Thou Shalt ENGAGE with your audience.

Engage – it’s not just a word that Picard uses to power upthe Enterprise.  It’s YOU interacting with your Followers/Friends and those you Follow.  And don’t just engage with people you already know.  The secret of Twitter is engaging with people more famous than you and hoping that they Favorite, Reply to or Retweet one of your comments to them.  You need to make a little effort.  Use your @ button and tag some people.  Use your imagination and get ‘quippy.’  Check out what’s trending and play Hashtag (#) games. Will each Tweet result in increased publicity?  No.  But those who do not try are those who will not succeed – ever!

After playing #OtherStarTrekFilms, I had several 'Favorites, Retweets AND New Followers!

“But I post things and no one ever comments back,” you whine.  Okay.  Yes – that happens.  Try tagging people in the post that you think will be interested in your comment.  Also, try asking questions.  People love to give their opinions.  They sit around ALL day waiting for someone to ask for it, and when no one does, they post it on Facebook anyway (usually in the form of a Meme that they really, really relate to…) Beat your audience to the punch and ASK them for an opinion.  And here’s another hint: The more benign, the better. 

“Do you think we should have stronger gun control laws?”  Well – this may elicit a large response from people who read it, but it will also turn into a cyber blood bath as your Blue State and Red State friends duke it out online. 

Hamburgers or Hotdogs?  Which go faster at your cookout? – MUCH Safer – just watch out for venomous vegans…

THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

Thou Shalt Stay True to Thine Brand…

If you don’t understand how this works in social networking, check out George Takei.  You don’t need to know or care about Star Trek past, present or future.  But that man understands his brand.  90% or more of my friends follow him because he posts funny, nerdy and poignant things daily.  Some of my most successful posts are things I’ve shared from his updates. 

He's even written a book on how he's conquered SocialNetworking's #FinalFrontier! http://www.amazon.com/Myyy-There-Goes-The-Internet-ebook/dp/B00AHP5NY6

 Now, if you’re branding as a horror writer, this wouldn’t work for you.  You’d have to find someone who is known/respected in your genre’s community and follow his or her lead.  YOU are a complex individual with a wide range of talents, skills and interests. Your online BRAND should be a very simple, predictable, tapered down version of you that represents your preferred working genre.  It’s a single facet of you – nothing more.  It’s your ‘announcer voice’ – big, two dimensional and easy to understand.  That’s why it’s good to maintain separate accounts for professional promotion and ‘just your friends.’  Don’t muck up your interactions with too much stuff from the ‘inner’ you when what you need to do if focus on your brand.

#SocialNetworking… The First Commandment (of Possibly 10)

There is a disconnect for ‘Creatives’ when it comes to marketing.  Not ALL creatives of course.  Top YouTubers, Bloggers and successful film producers have understood it for years.  But some of us like to think, “The Really Big clebs/writers/actors don’t even run their own Twitter/Blog/Facbook page.  Why should I?”

SMH… (That’s short for ‘shaking my head’ for the uninitiated.)

It’s true – there are those whose fame and success predated the days of MySpace, Facebook and Tumblr, who never have and never will lift a finger to promote themselves online.  But those were the days of analog. Welcome to the digital world, Baby!

The best way to get noticed is online.  When I tried to sell my first film, I was working with a partner who insisted we DIDN’T develop an online presence.  

ACTION!!! - the funniest film you STILL haven't heard of (now available on Amazon.com!)

“The distributor does that for you,” he told me.  I was only one person.  I was doing a lot of work without very many hands to help me – so I listened. 

I wish I hadn’t.

We took the film to a festival and scheduled meetings with several distributors.  We had a mostly finished product and a great pitch.  People loved the concept.  They loved the fact that the hard work of production was complete.

Then they asked me who was in it.

My answer included a couple local celebrities, but no names with real ‘draw.’  So they asked me what kind of fan base we’d built on Facebook, Twitter and our website.  My partner proudly spoke up.

“Well, we figured we’d let the pros at your company come up with a marketing plan…”

They said without a solid online fan base, it was too big a risk to sign a comedy with only unknown talent. 

So I went back, all by my little self, and tried to build an online presence.  But I really didn’t understand how to leverage social media.  I also discovered that it’s practically a fulltime job.  Back in the days of MySpace, everyone would ‘Friend’ everyone all willy-nilly.  It was the ‘Free Love’ movement of the Internet.  But with tighter privacy controls on Facebook and even Twitter, it was almost impossible for low-profile people and projects to get much attention.

So my next couple blogs will include tips I’d like to pass on to my fellow Creatives about using Facebook and Twitter.

"Online Privacy" is an oxymoron - get used to it!

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT…

Thou Shalt Accept Requests and Follows from Everyone (who isn’t a ‘porn-bot.’)

“But I don’t know those people,” you scream.  “I need to protect my precious online reputation and privacy!”

Get over it!  Success bears with it a certain level of notoriety – celebrity even. Don’t DO anything online that doesn’t enhance your brand or represent you in a way you don’t want people to see.  Just because your friend took a great photo of you passed out in your own vomit after a party doesn’t mean you should post it for all of your online friends to see – ever! The events (Snowden) of this past year should stand as more than adequate evidence that nothing online is ‘private’ in spite of your preferred settings on Facebook.  Wanna be successful?  Get noticed.  Wanna get noticed?  Get online – and do your best not to make an a$$ of yourself!

(PS - You might want to be careful about using words like 'a$$' in public online posts too...)

Festival Sumbissions Pt. III - KISS me - Please!

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It’s time to come clean on shorts…

Notice, festivals never ask you to submit your ‘clam-diggers’ for competition.  There is not a ‘capri pant’ category.  The industry phrase is ‘Short Films.’   Short. 

What is ‘short?’ 

“Oooh!  I got this one,” you say – raising your arm high and waving it around with the same spastic energy of a fishing reel that’s snagged an Alaskan King salmon in the throes of spawning season.  “A short film is any film under an hour – OR whatever the maximum time allotment is on your WAB requirement page.  Suck it! Yeah!  High fives all around!”

You’re right – kind of.  Many festivals allow ‘short film’ submissions up to 60 minutes in length with 60 or 61 minutes being the bridge into what is considered the ‘feature film’ category.

“So my movie is 45 minutes long.  It’s a short!  See?  Easy-peasy!”

Not exactly.  See, at the end of the day, when programming a film festival, long shorts are frequently the first to get cut. 

“No fair!  You just said they could be up to 60 minutes long and mine’s only 45!  Why would you say that if you don’t mean it?”

It’s not that we don’t mean it.  Scheduling usually breaks into two-hour blocks, which allow time for a typical feature film to be introduced, screened and then followed up with a Q&A.  So shorts are usually divided up into thematic ‘Shorts Programs’ that will fit inside that same two-hour window with time for a brief intro and a discussion to follow. 

“So you’ve still got another 45 – 65 minutes of runtime in that slot.  What’s the problem?”

True.  But by and large we get a very high volume of very good short films.  So the problem is your 45-minute short needs to be BETTER than FOUR to FIVE other shorts of a similar theme to program it.  And I have more disheartening news.  In most cases, a 45-minute short (or any short over 25 minutes usually) is not tight enough to make the cut. 

Remember all those things I cautioned about in my first blog?  Pacing, economy of visual storytelling, montage abuse?  More often than not, long shorts are chief offenders.  They don’t enter scenes as late as possible.  They don’t get out before it gets boring.  They take too long with slow-moving artistic camera angles that don’t propel the story.

“You just don’t understand my art!” you say, closing your eyes and sticking your fingers in your ears.  “La, la, la, la – I can’t hear youuuuu!”

Maybe you’re right.  Maybe I don’t understand your art.  But most of us on these committees are here because we love film, and we have an especially soft spot for indie film.  We WANT to see ‘cutting edge.’  We WANT to program films that make us think and give us something to talk about afterward.  But we don’t want the Q&A to be, “What the hell was that movie even supposed to be about?  I don’t understand the point!”  And even if I ‘get’ what your trying to do, if there are other films that do it better, yours won’t get programmed. 

Sure there are a few exceptions when it comes to long shorts – and they’re almost ALL documentaries.  Docs are unique animals that are afforded a little more fluidity.  But a programmed 45-minute doc will never feel like it’s 45 minutes long.

“So what do I do with this killer 45-page script I wrote?”

Trim the fat.  Turn it into a super-tight 8 – 20 minute script.  Or flesh it out.  Add a B-story and make it a full-blown feature film.  But please, Please, PLEASEmake sure you get some money and few decent actors before you shoot it!  (Coming soon in another blog.)  The bulk of 25-plus-minute narrative shorts feel underdeveloped or under edited.  Work on making something AMAZING in 10 minutes or less. 

I mean, think about it – would you rather see a great pair of legs in capri pants or Daisy Dukes? 

‘Nough said!

Good "News" Everybody!

Good news everybody!

No - s'rsly - Three Things! is a good way to watch the news!  Grab your favorite beverage and watch me and a couple friends riff on what's new in the world.  Each broadcast (we're starting with 1 per week) will feature a 'Word of the Day.'  Every time we use it - have a drink with us!

Comments and suggestions are appreciated.  We'll give you a shout out in our next broadcast if we choose YOUR Word of the Day suggestion! We're really excited about this project :D

Film Selection Part II - Cover me!

-->(Photo from Thomas Beatie's book Labor of Love - Unless you've pushed your film out of a vag/man-gina - spare me the metaphor please!)

Just processed another 20+ submissions for the film festival I coordinate.  I even snuck a peak at an animated student film (not my category, but it looked REALLY cute – and it was!)

Alas – in the process of inputting some submissions, I found some more cringe-worthy faux pas(es).  In the interest of saving future submitters the embarrassment and other coordinators the headache – here is my latest gripe.

1) Cover Letter Do’s and DON’T EVERS! 

Some people submit with a cover letter.  Some do not.  I don’t have a preference on the receiving end, but if you send one, I take the time to read it.  A light-hearted handshake is great.  A quick log line or story tease is nice.  And if you are submitting for consideration in a specific category (First-time Filmmaker, Gender/Theme/Genre Category, Locale Specific Production, etc.) it’s helpful to get a quick note to draw that to my attention.  That way, I can make sure it’s properly sorted and assigned to the right judges from the start.  But there is a phrase I see over and over again that absolutely makes me cringe. 

“This project was a labor of love…”  This is pretty much interchangeable with something indicating the work I am about to view is a “passion project.”  Usually following such a smushy-gushy statement is a disclaimer about how ‘sooo many people worked sooo hard,’ and volunteered or “donated countless hours of time and equipment.”  When you write this, you believe this seals your submission as a testament to the wonderfulness of your story, script and vision. 

“Look!” you’re yelling.  “My movie is so amaze-balls that I didn’t have to pay people.  They came to my set in droves begging to be a part of MY no-budget film!” 

But, my dear filmmaker, something gets more hopelessly lost in that translation than a Yeti in the Sahara.  Would you like to know what those words are really saying to the judges?

 

“I’m an amateur.  I couldn’t pull together any funding for my project, because no one with half a functioning brain cell believed in it enough to invest actual money.  It might not look all that great because I couldn’t afford to pay for professional equipment or services.  So go easy on it, because we shot it in my mom’s back yard, ate pizza every day for both catering and crafty, and the only actors and crew I could find were people who I went to high school with who still haven’t left town and gotten real jobs either.” 

Harsh?  You bet.  But only because there is a 92% accuracy rate of that written sentiment matching the physical quality of the work presented. 

Got news for you ‘Spielberg Jr.’ – EVERY film is a labor of love.  Every completed project is the culmination of thousands of hours put in by dozens to hundreds of trained workers busting their collective asses over 12+ hour days.  These people, even when they’re getting paid, are choosing this industry over home-cooked meals, a kid’s little league game, and steady checks with paid vacation time.  I’m glad you love your project.  I want to love it too.  I really do!  But when you send me an excuse in the cover letter, it sends up more red flags than North Korea.  

“But, I hear filmmakers say that on late night talk shows all the time!” you sputter in disbelief. 

Of course you do.  They can say that about a groundbreaking documentary or a gritty indie that ALREADY HAS DISTRIBUTION.  Then it’s called marketing.  That’s the filmmaker (who is already accomplished – hence why he is on Letterman and you are not) explaining why his film is in limited release cinemas instead of every multiplex in ‘Merica.  Those films are usually still made with between 2 and 10 million dollars.  

So what do you put in a cover letter?  Names of recognizable talent and crew are great.  A derivative work is also appropriate (the passionate retelling of Johnny Appleseed in a modern context.)  If the film has won any awards or is an official selection at a high-profile festival, that’s useful too!  If you’re a filmmaker whose work has screened at the festival in the past, that usually puts you on the expedited list, so let us know.  Don’t bother to tell me what other festivals you’ve submitted to, or that you made it to a ‘semi-final’ round before getting rejected – (yep, that was in one of the letters.) 

At the end of the day, a cover letter isn’t all that important for your submission, because what we’re looking for is a great film.  But if you write a poor cover letter, then we’re not expecting the script or finished product to be all that great.  If all else fails, just write, “We are pleased to submit Zombies from Valhalla for consideration in your festival.  We hope you enjoy our film.”  And be done with it!

Writer's C*ckBlock

Did you get everything on YOUR list? Photo retrieved from www.prevention.com

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I’m finicky.

There – I said it.  Not about ‘Chandler-esque’ nitpicky shit.  Little superficial things can disappear in the context of a great connection.  But I have a very refined list of what I’m looking for in a ‘gentleman caller,’ and I’m not willing to compromise.  Here’s the number one reason:

• If I do compromise and delve into a relationship with someone who is ‘substandard,’ two months, weeks, days or minutes down the road I WILL meet Mr. Right who is the exact quintessential blend of every quality I’m looking for and then I’ll have to either be ‘dignified’ and remain loyal to my consolation prize, or break his heart and risk the karmic rampage my actions set into motion. 

That isn’t to say that I can’t fine ANYONE who meets my criteria.  It’s not too terribly unrealistic after all.

The problem is, the guys I meet who can check off every box on my shopping list are sadly already in someone else’s grocery cart!  By and large, many Ineligible Men (those with significant others) let themselves go after a while, and just don’t appeal to me.  I need someone fit and active who can keep up with my lifestyle as well as his own.   Men surrounded by the yummy goodness of monogamy tend to put on a little weight, dress in whatever decade they initially found true love, and zone out of conversations that do not focus on their favorite teams or reality television shows. 

Lest anyone think I’m being unfair – please note that the same frequently holds true for ‘settled’ women.  Sadly, their conversations always seem to link back to their children or some horrific medical procedure.  Even less appealing!

But on occasion, I meet a guy who still knows what shampoo is, gets all my goofy pop culture references, makes some of his own, and isn’t old enough to be my father or young enough to be my illegitimate son.  I check.  No ring or tan lines on his finger.  I flirt – just a little.  And then those damn words – “my girlfriend likes that too.”  Or, “I’d better text my fiancé to let her know I’ll be late.”

And sometimes, I can’t help but wonder – did he get what he really wanted, or did he roll up a few minutes before closing time, toss something in his basket and take it to the “Ten-items-or-less” express lane just so he could check out and go home?  See, I’m willing to bet that if he had made a shopping list first, then I’d be able to check off all of his boxes too…

A Bad Reputation...

It's a gamble.

But then, all forward thinking is.

For my class this month, I committed to posting three YouTube Videos as a character I played in my first feature Film ACTION!!!

The thing is, not only does the character look like me - she has my name!  In the interest of making a three-day mostly improvised shoot as simple as possible, I encouraged all the actors to use their own names, and I led by example.  Please don't be fooled by the girl you see in the monitor.  She bears very little resemblance to 'real life' Hillary J.  Besides - 12-step meetings are for quitters!!!

Film Selection - Part I of ???

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Film selection for the film festival I work on has begun again – sigh…

I LOVE working on a film festival.  I love that somewhere in the piles of DVDs with haphazardly-scrawled WAB tracking numbers on them lie secret gems lovingly made with countless hours of writing, rewriting, fundraising, preproduction, 12-plus hour shooting days fueled on pizza and Red Bull, and sleepless nights of editing and post production magic. 

However, nothing breaks my heart more than to see a film that actors, directors and videographers have slaved over that just doesn’t effectively tell a story.

Some of the films could be redeemable with a ‘3^rd party edit.’  Some of them just are so painfully underdeveloped that they never should have started shooting in the first place.  Here are a couple things to keep in mind before you submit your ‘baby.’

1) Pacing!  I had the privilege of going to the CannesFilm Festival last month where I watched a number of beautifully made Independents starring some mega A-listers.  However, even in the big leagues, the audience can only tolerate looking at your romantic leads staring longingly at each other for so long.

I don’t care how cute your lead actress looks with her bedroom tussled hair in that perfect lighting you created with an Ikea China Ball.  If a snapshot can tell a thousand words, then your 60-second take of her pushing an unruly tendril behind her ear is a freakin’ Dickensonian run-on sentence.  Evoke the emotion – then move on to the next moment.

2) Too Many Montages!  If you find yourself cutting to a montage every 8 – 10 minutes, you may want to reconsider how you’re telling your story.  The reasons for too many montages vary.  Sometimes the filmmaker is telling too much back-story so the movie is filling in too many blanks.  Sometimes the filmmaker isn’t getting specific enough, so the montages are sweeping visual generalizations.  Sometimes the filmmaker is in love with some artistic B-roll, so the audience is accosted with avant-garde shots of a sprinkler watering flowers from multiple angles at varying speeds.  None of these are good reasons for montage abuse – and they lead me to number 3…

Unless you've got a product placement deal with Revlon, please don't show me this shot in your movie - even if you think you can do it better than Getty Images!

 

3) Every Shot Should Tell the Story!  Is your story about lipstick? No?  Why are you taking 60 seconds of my life to show a tube of lipstick, an ECU of lipstick being applied, and then the girl blotting the lipstick before she leaves for the day?  If it’s not a story about cosmetics and you haven’t brokered a product placement deal from Revlon, don’t show me a friggin’ woman putting on lipstick.  I’m a woman.  I put on lipstick every day.  Sometimes, I don’t even use a mirror.  Watching another woman put on lipstick is not interesting unless it’s part of the story.  Watching a man put on a tie is not interesting unless it’s part of the story.  Watching people walk down a busy street is not interesting unless… Get it?  And don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because you wrote it into the script/shot list it’s actually part of the story.  If imagery doesn’t raise the stakes, evoke a strong emotion or give us unique insight into the character, please leave it on the cutting room floor where it belongs.

I’m sure I’ll have some more obvious pointers in the coming weeks as I continue to review submissions.  All this said, I’m not some mega-bitch who hates filmmakers.  I am a filmmaker.  I’ve made these mistakes.  And now I cringe to think about them.  But keep working on your art.  Mistakes are the best way to learn, as long as you remember not to make them again.

The Thing's The Play... (Complaint Office)

I know - I've got it wrong.

I've got it so wrong in fact that I'm a screenwriter who just wrote a 7-page skit/one act for stage.

And it's not even a comedy.

*FAIL*

But I feel better.  Because now at least I can say I took something that was bothering me and turned it into something 'artistic.'  Maybe...

Lemme know what you think.  And if any of you want to do it for a class or a performance piece, I just ask that you let me know and record it on video to share with me.

Thanks!

Hillary J.

Yes I CANNES Photo Blog - Day 11

French men passing time...

So much swag...

And not enough Euros... The shopper's dilemma at Cannes!

A warm drink and Crepe avec Nutella - bon appetit!

The gates to the rooftop theater - the Salle du Soixantieme.  Waiting for seating to start for Guillaume Canet's 70's Crime story send up Blood Ties.

At least we had some shelter from the rain!

Here's the gourmet sandwich stand where I bought my drink, my crepe and my cheese and ham panini for 9.50 euros!  Cheapest meal of the fest!

The sun tries to put in a guest appearance...

The 60th Anniversary theater on top of the Palais.

I'm wearing a really pretty dress - you just can't see it...

So I walked on a couple Red Carpets it seems.

Brie cheese with bleu cheese hybrid?  My life is now complete!

Wines from around the world - literally.  The host of this party asked all his guests to bring a favorite or sample from their home town.  Next year I'll come prepared!

View from our host's apartment - Cest bon - no?

A new friend from NYC!  The Film Festival Wine Tasting event was a wonderful place to meet amazing people!

Fireworks from the Majestic Hotel restaurant.  FINALLY - the kind of welcome I've been expecting in Cannes :D

New friends from Maryland and Florida! There may be some collaborations in the future - only time will tell!